The Day Matt Got Married

In all my talk over the last few posts about dresses and shoes for Matt's wedding, I failed to mention one thing: Matt and I used to date.

Now, we dated very briefly, and it was many years ago, but at the time I fell for him like a ton of bricks. Sadly for me, he fell for me like he stumbled on uneven pavement and quickly regained his balance. It didn't help matters that the men I dated in the subsequent months were all... let's say, inappropriate. For me, anyway.

First there was Edgar. I went on a date with him just as things between Matt and me started going south. Nice enough guy, but we had absolutely nothing to talk about over dinner. I mean nothing. It was likely the longest meal of my life. After said long meal, we went to his very nice condo in South Beach. Where he had Star Wars posters on the walls. Yes, I know that men of my generation live by those movies, but really, if you're an adult, you should take the posters off your walls. And if you want to date me, in particular, you should not let your adolescent obsession with George Lucas see the light of day in any way.

Then there was Nathan. I met him in a poetry group I was briefly involved with, and his poetry was so deliciously bad, I developed an instant attraction to him. Sadly, his personality matched his verse. On our one and only date, he asked me in the middle if I minded if he "smoked a little weed." Enough said (although honestly, I could go on).

After Nathan came Tim. He was nice enough and really cute, too. But he was kind of a homophobe, which I regard as, at best, a rookie move here in San Francisco. Not to mention the fact that he was actually involved with another woman when he and I went out, and she got pregnant soon after. Fair enough; let her keep him.

And finally that brings us to Larry, who on paper was perfect for me in every way. Cute, smart, interested in writing and theatre. But in reality I felt no chemistry. Zero. And I mean no disrespect, but he was a pretty bad kisser, too. But that was probably just a result of the lack of chemistry. He could tell I wasn't into him, too, which made things easier for me but probably worse for him.

All of this is to say, it took me a while to get over Matt. But I did, and we stayed friends, and over the years we would often talk about meeting people we weren't very excited about. Generally that's not a huge problem for me because, as evidenced in the above anecdote, guys can tell when I'm not really into them and, as a consequence, stop calling. But Matt found himself in a series of short, dead-end relationships with women for whom he could only summon lukewarm feelings. So I was honestly thrilled when he met his now-wife, Kristen, two years ago. It's a cute story, too; one that involves a winery, her 30th birthday party and an add Matt later placed on Craigslist's Missed Connections. In fact, it's so cute, it ended up in a recent issue of People Magazine.

I will say, though, I was feeling a little trepidation around this wedding since I am nowhere near marriage yet. And it's just a little weird to see someone you used to make out with taking such a step, even many years later.

But as it turns out, it was positively lovely to see them get married. The ceremony was short, the food was delicious and there was plenty of wine. Plenty. Plus, Kristen did not subject all us single girls to that humiliating bouquet toss. I absolutely love her for that.

The wedding over, I'm now off to Hawaii to visit my mom. Matt and Kristen may have gotten married, but it looks like I'm getting a honeymoon-style vacation.