My mother is a brilliant woman: two years ago she moved to Hawaii. And this week I am visiting her. I don't have much time, as I am using the world's most expensive public computer, but here are some highlights of my visit with Diva Mommy.
1. It took all of 24 hours for some 600-year old man to hit on me.
2. The W Hotel in Waikiki is a wonderful place. I wish I was rich so I could live there.
3. Waikiki is very touristy, but Diva Mommy lives only a couple of miles away, so it is also a very convenient place to stay. It does remind me of a cross between Disneyland and Las Vegas, however.
4. Regardless of the touristy nature, Waikiki Beach is lovely. And the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Ohau is even lovelier. I could live in that water.
5. We went to the Pali Lookout today, where a bunch of soldiers got thrown off the side about a million years ago. I'm glad that wasn't me.
6. Diva Mommy took my sister, Fabulous Patti, and me to this bar called Duke's Canoe Club. It's slightly horrifying; much like a big frat party. But the fact that former jazz singer and music afficionado Diva Mommy goes there regularly to people watch and listen to the music is so hysterical that I have forgiven the frat party atmosphere.
7. Much like my experience in New England, I am finding running in 85 degree humidity to be a slight challenge. But I've done it every morning, anyway. Between how much I have been eating and my daily appearance in a bathing suit, I have to keep up my exercise.
Okay, I'm off to the beach. But I have just one question for you before I go: do I have to come home?